Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Last week, I did something that I haven't done in 10 years...I was an extra in a movie! It was in the Ron Howard movie called "What You Don't Know", with Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Jennifer Connolly and Winona Rider, and the scenes were filmed at the United Center in Chicago for three days. (Me & Mrs. Idiot have a standing date for the Jan. 15, 2011 premiere).

To answer the immediate questions - "No", I did not meet any of the stars up close and personal, and "No" you probably won't see me if you don't know where to look in the crowd shots. But, if you are like me and enjoy some quality people-watching, this is something you need to try.

Rivaled only by Karaoke Night in downtown mid-Illinois anywhere, the extras character ensemble made it seem like I had invaded a field trip from the DMV. Some scrubs were under the impression that this would be their big break, and that they would be "discovered" amongst the 1000+ extras in their first step towards Oscar gold. (That bar may have been set a bit too high).

However, I was lucky enough to find Cathie and Eric, a couple of equally-sarcastic space-fillers who were also along just for the experience. Together, we formed our own little alliance, hell-bent on making our own fun (and, as we were together for roughly 36 hours, we surmised that there was really little else to do).

We got to meet and talk to many different people, as we were shuffled from section to section in order to film large crown shots, striking up fun and interesting conversations along the way. For our own reference and for reasons obvious to us, we saw and renamed Mohawk, Blind Side, 'Stash, Blond Morticia, and Paris-Hilton-at-50, just to name a few. And, amidst all the section-changing and parading around the UC, we three were all, at one time or another, subjected to the trials and tribulations of "Face Time".

Without prompting and with disregard for the obvious disinterest of rows of fellow extras, Face Time (along with sidecar and sounding board "Morocco Mole") could not believe that she was not getting filmed for close-ups on camera, as she had recently spent days being filmed for her role in another film. Her self-admitted "Diva Complex" was taking a major hit, and my guess is that 765 extras knew about it, but Face Time didn't stop long enough to catch anyone's name. It had not dawned on Face Time that maybe the camera needed a break. (I did not know that there was a remake of "Throw Momma from the Train", but I'm glad they found their female lead).

Now, I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I have enough social skills to realize that if people were actually moving away from me to secure a seat outside of the sound of my voice, then I might need to re-think my presentation to society or my conversational topic. Lucky for me, Cathie, Eric and I all practiced reasonable hygiene and gave details of our lives only when asked, and actually listened to each other's responses. That may be why I sought them out each day.

Today's lessons:

- Try and make the most of an unpleasant situation, and make your own fun. If you're lucky enough to find people to share in your fun, then you can consider the experience a win.

- When going out in public, please note that combs and deodorant are NOT optional. Please corral that Hairodactyl into a hat or ponytail and lop on a little pit powder for the sake of your fellow humans.

- If you can't make your own fun, then please, for the love of humanity, focus your complaints to those who can help, not just those who are close. Bitching for the sake of bitching adds nothing, and certainly can't help in the pursuit of more Face Time.