What are we telling the kids??!!!!

I've got issues. I think anyone who knows me or has read this blog would readily jump on board with this little axiom of the universe.

To that end, I think that we should take a little closer look at what we pass down to the next generation, particularly in the realm of nursery rhymes.

Now, it can be asserted that music and rhyme help a child's development. Fine, no argument here. My argument would be in regards to content. A closer look leads me to question if these are images we would really want kids to embrace in the height of their blissful innocence. A simple breakdown of these rhymes comes into direct conflict with my Spock-like adherence to logic. For example...

The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe - The impossible logistics aside, since this old lady doesn't know what to do with all her kids, try this for starters...get a job that doesn't involve you laying down. Should this woman with such lower moral fiber, who barely feeds and then whips her bastard children, be immortalized in song? I hope that somewhere, someone has created a second verse that incorporates the DCFS.

Humpty Dumpty - This one's got all kinds of problems. Who among us names an egg? Or puts an egg on a wall? Or really gives a rat's ass if that egg falls off said wall? Wouldn't a king have better use of his troops than to deploy them to try to reconstruct an egg? Aren't horses going to have problems trying to put an egg back together, what with the hooves and the general lack of reasoning? Sop that bad boy up with a Wet-vac, get a new egg, don't name it, and move on. If the five-second rule applies, grab a bowl and a whisk and make an omelet.

Jack & Jill - Let's see...two kids run up a hill, the boy falls down and cracks open his skull, so the girl decides to tumble on down after him. Is she an idiot? Why would anyone do that? Don't parents want to teach kids to NOT do stupid things just because all the other kids are doing it? Patty-cake away to this gem!!

And my personal favorite...

Ring Around the Rosie - Let's dance around and sing about "The Plague", shall we? A round rosy rash (a plague symptom), posies of herbs that were carried in belief of plague protection, "Atch chew! atch chew!" (sneezing, another and final fatal plague symptom), and all fall down (and die). Yea! Disease is fun, isn't it kids?

But, who am I to say? These things have been around for generations before me and will continue long after I'm gone. And, I guess, I never really questioned these rhymes when I was a kid, so how bad can they be? (I guess these are better than having kids skipping around quoting rap lyrics).

But kids are getting smarter earlier with each generation, and we would all like everyone (regardless of age) to know what they are talking about when they speak.

So be prepared, we all may have some questions to answer some time soon.