Last week, I did something that I haven't done in 10 years...I was an extra in a movie! It was in the Ron Howard movie called "What You Don't Know", with Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Jennifer Connolly and Winona Rider, and the scenes were filmed at the United Center in Chicago for three days. (Me & Mrs. Idiot have a standing date for the Jan. 15, 2011 premiere).
To answer the immediate questions - "No", I did not meet any of the stars up close and personal, and "No" you probably won't see me if you don't know where to look in the crowd shots. But, if you are like me and enjoy some quality people-watching, this is something you need to try.
Rivaled only by Karaoke Night in downtown mid-Illinois anywhere, the extras character ensemble made it seem like I had invaded a field trip from the DMV. Some scrubs were under the impression that this would be their big break, and that they would be "discovered" amongst the 1000+ extras in their first step towards Oscar gold. (That bar may have been set a bit too high).
However, I was lucky enough to find Cathie and Eric, a couple of equally-sarcastic space-fillers who were also along just for the experience. Together, we formed our own little alliance, hell-bent on making our own fun (and, as we were together for roughly 36 hours, we surmised that there was really little else to do).
We got to meet and talk to many different people, as we were shuffled from section to section in order to film large crown shots, striking up fun and interesting conversations along the way. For our own reference and for reasons obvious to us, we saw and renamed Mohawk, Blind Side, 'Stash, Blond Morticia, and Paris-Hilton-at-50, just to name a few. And, amidst all the section-changing and parading around the UC, we three were all, at one time or another, subjected to the trials and tribulations of "Face Time".
Without prompting and with disregard for the obvious disinterest of rows of fellow extras, Face Time (along with sidecar and sounding board "Morocco Mole") could not believe that she was not getting filmed for close-ups on camera, as she had recently spent days being filmed for her role in another film. Her self-admitted "Diva Complex" was taking a major hit, and my guess is that 765 extras knew about it, but Face Time didn't stop long enough to catch anyone's name. It had not dawned on Face Time that maybe the camera needed a break. (I did not know that there was a remake of "Throw Momma from the Train", but I'm glad they found their female lead).
Now, I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I have enough social skills to realize that if people were actually moving away from me to secure a seat outside of the sound of my voice, then I might need to re-think my presentation to society or my conversational topic. Lucky for me, Cathie, Eric and I all practiced reasonable hygiene and gave details of our lives only when asked, and actually listened to each other's responses. That may be why I sought them out each day.
Today's lessons:
- Try and make the most of an unpleasant situation, and make your own fun. If you're lucky enough to find people to share in your fun, then you can consider the experience a win.
- When going out in public, please note that combs and deodorant are NOT optional. Please corral that Hairodactyl into a hat or ponytail and lop on a little pit powder for the sake of your fellow humans.
- If you can't make your own fun, then please, for the love of humanity, focus your complaints to those who can help, not just those who are close. Bitching for the sake of bitching adds nothing, and certainly can't help in the pursuit of more Face Time.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Schoolyard or NBA? This week it's hard to tell.
I was recently asked via Facebook if I was going to comment on the "LeBron James Decision". As I have no real interest in the NBA, the whole thing seemed like a huge ego-stroke to me, so I decided to wait until the REAL circus began.
The events that have unfolded since the July 8th "Look-At-Me-fest" run similar to the kid in the schoolyard who changes kickball teams to play with his friends, prompting the Captain of the team to say mean things about him, prompting a self-proclaimed leader and teacher to call the Captain names, until the Principal has to step in and scold everyone involved.
This little One Act play stars Lebron James as the kid, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert as the Captain, Jesse Jackson as the teacher and NBA Commissioner David Stern as the Principal.
It amazes me how grown men - leaders in their professions and their communities - can't seem to grasp the simplest of life lessons..."Think before you speak!" And, LeBron and Dan, even if you can't get your self-absorbed minds around this concept, please spend some of the millions of dollars that you have accumulated over the years and employ a publicist, or marketer or communications guru to help you craft your message instead of flying like a blind moth into the seductive light of the camera.
As for Jesse...well, you have proven yet again that you are willing to trade any subject-matter knowledge for some face time. Not everything is a case of the white man keeping the black man down, as I don't think that a comparison of a multi-million dollar athlete to a slave holds any merit. How about sticking to the pursuit of civil rights and social justice on which your Rainbow Coalition was founded? You can start in the predominantly black Chicago neighborhood of Englewood, where gang members routinely shoot at anyone on the street, including police officers.
Unless you think that LeBron's millions are more important...
The events that have unfolded since the July 8th "Look-At-Me-fest" run similar to the kid in the schoolyard who changes kickball teams to play with his friends, prompting the Captain of the team to say mean things about him, prompting a self-proclaimed leader and teacher to call the Captain names, until the Principal has to step in and scold everyone involved.
This little One Act play stars Lebron James as the kid, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert as the Captain, Jesse Jackson as the teacher and NBA Commissioner David Stern as the Principal.
It amazes me how grown men - leaders in their professions and their communities - can't seem to grasp the simplest of life lessons..."Think before you speak!" And, LeBron and Dan, even if you can't get your self-absorbed minds around this concept, please spend some of the millions of dollars that you have accumulated over the years and employ a publicist, or marketer or communications guru to help you craft your message instead of flying like a blind moth into the seductive light of the camera.
As for Jesse...well, you have proven yet again that you are willing to trade any subject-matter knowledge for some face time. Not everything is a case of the white man keeping the black man down, as I don't think that a comparison of a multi-million dollar athlete to a slave holds any merit. How about sticking to the pursuit of civil rights and social justice on which your Rainbow Coalition was founded? You can start in the predominantly black Chicago neighborhood of Englewood, where gang members routinely shoot at anyone on the street, including police officers.
Unless you think that LeBron's millions are more important...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Japanese attack on...Coney Island?
I am coming off a traditional 4th of July celebration - spending time with friends, enjoying a lakefront fireworks display, watching an ambulance cart away one of the neighborhood gang bangers who finally injured himself using home-launched fireworks after three days worth of trying.
But there is one "tradition" that I just can't embrace - The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
When did watching 20 people gorge themselves on hot dogs become part of the national celebration of our independence? A closer examination of the 2010 edition of this train wreck shows exactly why this event is symbolic of the American tradition...
- The winner downed 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes, in front of hundreds of thousands of cheering spectators. (It seems a little easier to figure out why the rest of the world would see Americans as self/over-indulgent and gluttonous).
- Former champion Takeru Kobayashi was present but did not compete, as he refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating. (It's not only disturbing that there is a group formed to regulate this and other "competitive eating" events, but there is actually enough demand to see people stuff themselves that prize money is involved. Just another way to live the American dream...if you can get through all the red tape).
- Kobayashi was arrested when he tried to force his way onto the stage during the awards ceremony. One of the charges was obstructing governmental administration. (THIS is where governmental administration is focused? How about that pesky little oil spill or appropriating stimulus funds correctly or maybe the investigation and/or deterrence of such things as murder, rape, assault, robbery? I, for one, feel better knowing that New York's Finest were deployed to help protect the tube steak chuggers from the 128-pound menace storming the eating stage).
- And of course, there was trash-talking. Winner Joey Chestnut said that Kobayashi would have competed "if he were a real man". (I may have not been paying attention that day, but I can't remember when shoving-enough-food-to-feed-four-rows-of-people-at-Yankee-Stadium-down-your-throat-in-10-minutes was outlined in the "Real Man" definition. If that's your definition Joey, thanks for not dating my sisters).
Unfortunately, I guess that these points, on some level, outline American life in 2010, so maybe this explains why this event has become a part of the true American Independence Day celebration. I just hope that for 2011, somebody might realize that the hot dogs prepared by Nathan's, instead of being sacrificed for prize money, might be better served to those who are homeless and unsure of their next meal.
But there is one "tradition" that I just can't embrace - The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.
When did watching 20 people gorge themselves on hot dogs become part of the national celebration of our independence? A closer examination of the 2010 edition of this train wreck shows exactly why this event is symbolic of the American tradition...
- The winner downed 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes, in front of hundreds of thousands of cheering spectators. (It seems a little easier to figure out why the rest of the world would see Americans as self/over-indulgent and gluttonous).
- Former champion Takeru Kobayashi was present but did not compete, as he refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating. (It's not only disturbing that there is a group formed to regulate this and other "competitive eating" events, but there is actually enough demand to see people stuff themselves that prize money is involved. Just another way to live the American dream...if you can get through all the red tape).
- Kobayashi was arrested when he tried to force his way onto the stage during the awards ceremony. One of the charges was obstructing governmental administration. (THIS is where governmental administration is focused? How about that pesky little oil spill or appropriating stimulus funds correctly or maybe the investigation and/or deterrence of such things as murder, rape, assault, robbery? I, for one, feel better knowing that New York's Finest were deployed to help protect the tube steak chuggers from the 128-pound menace storming the eating stage).
- And of course, there was trash-talking. Winner Joey Chestnut said that Kobayashi would have competed "if he were a real man". (I may have not been paying attention that day, but I can't remember when shoving-enough-food-to-feed-four-rows-of-people-at-Yankee-Stadium-down-your-throat-in-10-minutes was outlined in the "Real Man" definition. If that's your definition Joey, thanks for not dating my sisters).
Unfortunately, I guess that these points, on some level, outline American life in 2010, so maybe this explains why this event has become a part of the true American Independence Day celebration. I just hope that for 2011, somebody might realize that the hot dogs prepared by Nathan's, instead of being sacrificed for prize money, might be better served to those who are homeless and unsure of their next meal.
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