Japanese attack on...Coney Island?

I am coming off a traditional 4th of July celebration - spending time with friends, enjoying a lakefront fireworks display, watching an ambulance cart away one of the neighborhood gang bangers who finally injured himself using home-launched fireworks after three days worth of trying.

But there is one "tradition" that I just can't embrace - The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

When did watching 20 people gorge themselves on hot dogs become part of the national celebration of our independence? A closer examination of the 2010 edition of this train wreck shows exactly why this event is symbolic of the American tradition...

- The winner downed 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes, in front of hundreds of thousands of cheering spectators. (It seems a little easier to figure out why the rest of the world would see Americans as self/over-indulgent and gluttonous).

- Former champion Takeru Kobayashi was present but did not compete, as he refused to sign a contract with Major League Eating. (It's not only disturbing that there is a group formed to regulate this and other "competitive eating" events, but there is actually enough demand to see people stuff themselves that prize money is involved. Just another way to live the American dream...if you can get through all the red tape).

- Kobayashi was arrested when he tried to force his way onto the stage during the awards ceremony. One of the charges was obstructing governmental administration. (THIS is where governmental administration is focused? How about that pesky little oil spill or appropriating stimulus funds correctly or maybe the investigation and/or deterrence of such things as murder, rape, assault, robbery? I, for one, feel better knowing that New York's Finest were deployed to help protect the tube steak chuggers from the 128-pound menace storming the eating stage).

- And of course, there was trash-talking. Winner Joey Chestnut said that Kobayashi would have competed "if he were a real man". (I may have not been paying attention that day, but I can't remember when shoving-enough-food-to-feed-four-rows-of-people-at-Yankee-Stadium-down-your-throat-in-10-minutes was outlined in the "Real Man" definition. If that's your definition Joey, thanks for not dating my sisters).

Unfortunately, I guess that these points, on some level, outline American life in 2010, so maybe this explains why this event has become a part of the true American Independence Day celebration. I just hope that for 2011, somebody might realize that the hot dogs prepared by Nathan's, instead of being sacrificed for prize money, might be better served to those who are homeless and unsure of their next meal.